5000.00 $ Everything You Need To Start A Band. Scammon Bay

Published date: July 7, 2024
  • Location: Scammon Bay, Alaska, United States

Everything You Need To Start A Band.

⭕ My loss is your gain! I am getting out of the sound tech business after 20 years. It isnt worth it to me anymore to set up and tear down and maintain the sound equipment for whatever band I am playing with for an extra $250 a show. So if you are beginning band that needs everything; hit your parents up for $5000. They will see the pathway to financial sustainability is being in a rock band. Or if you are a dealer whose wife will let you drag all the equipment inside and let it sit until you piece each part separately for what is really worth, this is your gig.

But what do you get?

Not one, not two, but five bags o cables. Why start with cables instead something sexy like a mixing board or speakers? Because when I said you will get everything you need to start a band; I meant everything. Except talent. Yet many of you will still persevere without that based on what I have seen in the past.

Power cables; because the bass player has yet to figure out they belong with whatever they are meant to power.
Tons of XLR cables: 20 foot to get to the snake on the other side of the stage; 15 and 10 foot if you are playing on the stages I play on and 5 foot if you are trying to restrain the singer because he is bouncing around like a monkey on meth.
Speaker cables: Speakon to Speakon, Speakon to Banana, Banana to Quarter inch, Quarter inch to Quarter inch and Quarter inch to SpeakOn. Guaranteed to have the cable you need to for any combination you are running. Also guaranteed that you will never find what you are looking for on the first try.

(2) Peavey 118 SP subs: lots of thump and heavy as hell; the main reason I am getting out of this business.

(2) Peavey SP 5 mains: guaranteed to make your lead singer sound like the prima donna he thinks he is.

(1) Crown XLS 2500W Power Amplifier: To drive the subs.

(2) Crown XLS 1500W Power Amplifiers: To run the mains and some shitty monitors.

(1) DBA Driverack PA+ w/ DBX RTA-M: gets rid of the offending frequencies in the venue; if only it would work with the brown notes created by the guitarist.

(1) Rackrider RR-15: it is just a power conditioner, nothing sexy about this.

(1) Gator GR-6S: for the amps, Driverack and Rackrider; comes with stickers on the outside from the 90s panty tossing band Pullchain.

(1) XSPRO 16 channel snake: 16 xlr out and 4 xlr in; pretty sure all connections work. Pretty colored ends too.

(1) SR24.4.2 VLZ Pro/case: Literally just bought this from a studio, hence the 16 channel snake hooking up to it. Ask me pretty and I will send along the piece of shit 16 channel Mackie this replaced.

(2) Carvin wedge monitors: These were the shit back when I didnt need a walker to get behind the drumset.

(2) Sonic wedge monitor: they sound great and dual as a boat anchor if needed.

(4) Shure SM57: Only the hipsters with their analogue amps need these.

(3) Sennheiser e835: for the backup singers: you know, lead and bass guitarists

(1) Sennheiser e835 S: for the lead singer/drummer. It has got a mute switch! Which is guaranteed to be triggered while the singer is jacking around during the guitar solo.

(7) Mic stands: seven should be enough; if not, the guitarist can mortgage his rig and spend $10 and get another one.

(8) Assorted mic stand heads: Why? Because the singer keeps taking them off so they can put their special one on. And then losing them. So I buy more. Fuck.

(2) Chauvet Colorstrip: If only the bass player would leave his mothers basement, the band wouldnt need lights in the front. Comes with custom legs, as the OEM legs were crap.

(1) Chauvet 4 Bar: DMX driven spots. Comes with custom light pole meant to be put on the mains.

(1) Chauvet 4 Play: DMX driven; makes pretty patterns on the dance floor meant to distract the audience from the fact there is no people on the dance floor. Also comes with custom light pole meant to be put on the other main. Seriously, we play in small venues.

(1) Chauvet 6 Spot: Dmx driven, originally used to illuminate the drums. Why? Because I own the equipment and play the drums.

(1) ADJ myDMX: this plugs into a laptop. Download the software and use this to control all of your lights. Laptop not included; where would I put all of my porn?

(1) Gretsch Catalina Maple 7 piece: My touring kit until I bought my Pearl Crystal Beats. Comes with snare, which is not shown in pics. I will even throw in some shitty cymbals for your drummer to break.

(1) Yamaha SLG110N: Got a panty tossing slow song? This acoustic/electric guitar is perfect for it.

(1) Peavey AT-200: Have a guitarist that always out of tune? Chad? It is always Chad; he is a douche. This guitar has auto tune built in. The attenuation is perfect all the way down the neck. And if you are one of those edgy alt bands that plays in the lower drop tuning; the auto tune allows you to play without the low E feeling like a wet noodle.

(1) Line 6 Pod XT: I thought this would make me sound better. What I really needed was talent.

(1) 10*6*6 enclosed trailer: Side door leads to an area for the drums, lights and illegal smoking. Door drops down in back for easy loading. Plenty of extra room after all of the above equipment is in for extra-large groupies; again Chad seriously or that half stack cabinet your guitarist has to have so everyone in the bar down the street can hear his 5 minute ode to Frank Zappa or Yngwie Malmsteen, depending on how well he is playing.

You get all of this $5000. Once your check clears (heh) and the bank gives me gives me the OK, I will send you the address in Cedar Rapids, Iowa where you can meet me. I will sign over the trailer to you and send you on your way.

Phone number ✆ +1 907-479-8658

Scammon Bay, Alaska

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